instead of Tina because she doesn’t want to seem name-droppy, she avidly shops at T. Maxx and Marshalls (and chided me for not complimenting her on the $860 Kate Spade coat she got for around $100), she says she regularly wets her pants from laughing too hard, and she bears a striking resemblance to Strawberry Shortcake. But if I were to pinpoint Kemper’s most marked characteristic, I’d say it’s her awareness of others, her precise attunement to their personalities and moods. And you don’t have to have slept on a futon in her dorm room in 2001 (though I did) to figure out she has an edge, of the good variety-Google either “Some Relatively Recent College Grads Discuss Their Maids,” which is a scathing class takedown she wrote for the McSweeney’s Web site in 2007, or a 2013 TEDx talk she gave in St.
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